Mafia Gazette Past Issue 55
The Mafia Gazette Issue 55 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Saturday 19th November 'PRIESTHOOD/ASDA WAR ' Information is coming in that a major war between the two largest families in our community are at war. We will bring you more in a special Sunday edition of the Gazette tomorrow… 'MADE MAN MASS MURDERER ' The early hours of yesterday morning saw the death of one of the community’s high-ranking members when another Made Man was killed. He was shanked in jail by an unknown assailant, ending his month-long reign. JazzMouse was mourned by many at his funeral, but the seedier side of his personality seems to have been hidden from many, including his family. He was a mass-murderer with somewhere between 70 and 100 kills to his name, although Police have refused to divulge more information on who his victims were. One or two at his funeral seem to have known about his collection of kills however, but it would appear that the community was mostly ignorant of the nefarious dealings of this Made Man. One or two people have questioned whether this was good behaviour for a Made Man, although others have also questioned whether there really is any honour left among the higher ranks if one can be a mass murderer on this scale. Police are still trying to ascertain the exact total of people murdered by this man, and anyone with any information has been asked to contact them as soon as possible. 'DEATH IN THE CELL ' =Leader of LVC shanked in jail. War began.= By: angeloSD9mm At 12:05, yesterday State jail became crime scene. MrMerc known as leader of Las Vegas Connection, one of the most influent families in Mafia world, had been killed. As soon as funeral had finished I asked The_Under_Boss_1 for meeting. The information he has given me puts light on the actual situation. It is known that man who committed assassination was "Destruction, a Wise Guy under Kiss_This." Attack brought Families on the war path. LVC as ally to Priesthood is now acting against Kiss_This who started war. The official information says also: "The deaths of Merc and the PH members are connected, they were all killed by the order of Kiss_This" As far as we know both families and their allies spread network of soldiers who are fully loaded and are awaiting Kiss_This just behind the corner. Word on the street says that chances of Kiss_This against "the Strongest", as some call LVC and Priesthood, to survive are as little as not getting to jail nowadays. Some people count that over 50% of "families with power" is on the site of "the Strongest". What makes it very hard for Kiss_This to win this war. It is sure that members of Kiss_This will suffer a lot. Under High Security in Cities of LVC and PH, which are currently closed it will be hard to fight them out. 'STREET NEWS ' By: Connie_Corleone 'New Beginnings and Rehabilitation Option ' On Friday, November 18th, the ribbon was cut to open the offices of a probation officer by the name of Mr. Kutter. Normally, this wouldn’t necessarily be worthy of a spot in the newspaper, but there is a true difference as compared to others. As they are compared, you decide for yourself. The usual pathway for people in our world once arrested is trial and prison if convicted. Upon returning, most just return to their previous professions and attempt to be more careful in the future. Mr. Kutter’s way has some refreshing changes, included, but not limited to as stated by him: *Finances - A temporary loan will be set up, WE can talk about the interest rates. *Work - I will try my Hardest to try and find you work and protection. This means, that I would be very grateful to hear from Street Bosses and Made men/women that are willing to be part of the scheme. *Guidance - If you need help with learning how to make your own money then contact me. *Rehabilitation - We also run programs to help you become a better gangster to try and keep you out of the prison system and lower our taxes. Many listening to this speech at the ribbon cutting ceremony had questions and/or comments. One of the questions raised was quite relevant and was related to the financing of this service, especially the loans offered. It was asked if a fee for services rendered would be involved. In consideration of the fact that the group receives no government assistance with the program, a small fee was going to be requested and discussed before services are started. The amount of the fee still hadn’t been settled upon. There were some rough estimates, but nothing concrete. It has been the experience of many during these hard times, that various programs ask a sliding scale fee, which is based on the individual’s finance circumstances. The notion of donations to the program were raised and it was found to be a wonderful idea with requests going out to any and all willing to donate funding, perhaps time, and knowledge as well. A program such as this can be invaluable to our community, especially given that even those of us raised in Families with guidance and knowledge still have questions or difficulties that require advice. Mr. Kutter should be given as much cooperation and gratitude as possible for his generous, selfless undertaking in our society. 'The Council of Supreme Linguists ' While passing along the street, the public was regaled by a concern for our people from Sicily, which appears to be truly worthwhile. Randle_McMurphy has presented the challenging situation of learning English as a second language. As he stated, it is a true necessity to be able to speak, understand, and write English well if one is to create a promising life or career in America. So many of our people arrive from Sicily only to find themselves restricted to small neighbourhoods of Italians, especially in the larger cities. Many are even called, “Little Italy”. The land of opportunity is there for the taking, but knowledge and correctly usage of the common language of America is essential. Randle_McMurphy is reaching out to assist those wishing to better themselves and their lives by simply learning the English language. He and his associates are willing to meet with anyone interested either in the street or in private. What would be really helpful is not to just assist with the Italian or Sicilian, but with all of the citizens who have a desire to learn or better their English. In addition, perhaps a local civic organization would allow individuals working with this Council to use classrooms, basements, or some other location to have classes of people wishing to learn. I find this offer extremely generous and promising. English is vital, but please keep the language and traditions of the people alive within your homes and your cities. This program isn’t meant destroy your ways, only enhance your life. So, if you are ready to better yourself and your families, take advantage of this program. 'Town Square Opened ' After the construction walls have been removed, it is found that a Town Square has been constructed in the middle of the city streets providing a nice, quiet place to get to meet others and get to know new friends. The crowds gathered around as the creator Darkside2 revealed the statues and fountains that only months before had been sketches on a pizza box. The reception of this new addition seems to be well received by all the locals. There was some scoffs to see that a statue of Darkside2 had been placed in the middle of the Square, but most just accepted it and started to enjoy the amenities offered graciously. But as with anything else, there were a handful of onlookers with their own ideas, comments, and insults concerning different portions of the statues. Many of those rarely take the time to stop and spend anytime getting to know others so they won’t have to suffer being around the well designed and built Town Square. I can’t help to think that someone should acknowledge and honour the man for his work and addition to the community. Give it some thought. 'An Open Threat Of War ' First heard in the streets of Las Vegas, a threat has travelled to fill the ears of everyone of our world. DanKJr has stood in the street in Las Vegas and openly threatened all the old men with grave, mortal harm. Although most have marked him insane for such a statement, it has put all the older gentlemen on guard against such attacks. For there was an additional portion to the threat that now effects all in our world. He, himself, has claimed to be locking down Las Vegas and that all older men will be killed on sight. It appears to this reporter that other hearing the statement and the call to arms, this person may gain the assistants of other insane people, but most hearing his called to arms has merely turned and walked away or offered some words of discouragement. This may be an isolated case; it does raise the problem that has plagued our work in recent history. Openly calling for a lock down on any city causes much bloodshed and undue attacks and vengeance. After many lives have been lost, it is found the lockdown did nothing to benefit anyone except opening up positions in Families. Those in high positions in the Families have been found to be intelligent and reasonable people who should be able to reason such things out and meet to benefit all the Families. I present this information to you all, search your conscience, and be ever alert for the words of a madman. Mussolini is an atrocious Fascist and others follow him, why? Because he is a madman, who is able to steer them using terror and propaganda. This is America, do we really want to impose the same tactics here within our world? 'MYSTERY MEN REVEALED ' Exclusive Interview By: Naomi_Contello As of late, the power base of our community has become more structured. Families are rising to power, crews are running business in the streets, and even the underground is getting a little more ordered. This reporter hit the streets to find what she could regarding one not-so-underground underground crew known as the Mystery Men. What she got was an interview with one of the co-founders of this group, The_Under_Boss_1. We sat in a dark corner booth in a local bar and ordered our drinks. I leaned in close and asked him, "How long have the Mystery Men been in business?" He thought for a moment before replying, "For nearly a year and a half." "Wow. After all that time, you must have built up quite the history together. Any stories stick out in your mind as exceptionally memorable?" He gave a little chuckle and said, "Killing damn near every Street Boss in Detroit. Eventually evoking so much fear that Made Men ask us for permission to enter Detroit." He shook his head and smiled. Slightly unnerved but at the same time impressed, I asked, "So where does all this power stem from? I mean, are you an actual crew or more like a way of life?" "We are both," he said knowingly. "We are defiantly a lifestyle but we have had our share of rankers. KKID who made Don." I thought about this for a moment before asking, "Well, as a crew, what is your overall goal or objective?" Without a thought, he answered, "To look out for our interests." "And those would be..." Another chuckle, "Can't say." Taking a moment to collect my thoughts, I asked my last question, "Um, ok. Well, do you see any sort of future for the Mystery Men?" He looked at me for a moment before answering matter-of-factly, "Of course I do, we have plans set in motion already." With that he gave me a coy smile that let me know the conversation was over. We finished our drinks making small talk, then went our separate ways. So it would seem that not all of the power in the streets lies in the hands of the Made Men, who don't seem to mind underground groups like the Mystery Men, just so long as their interests don't conflict. But there are a few outspoken individuals who see the underground as a threat to our society. One such person, DanKjr, has gone so far as to offer a ten million dollar reward for the head of one the Mystery Men's leaders, one, NaziNick. In true honor-bound style, most of our community simply laughed Dan into silence. In all fairness, this is the same man who has remained a citizen yet goes to the streets in a public outcry against the business practices of made men, something about which a citizen would know nothing. But let that one be argued out in the streets. The fact of the matter is, the streets are finally finding some sort of balance with the help of the ranked elites as well as the underground mobsters. The First Annual Mr. Mafia Thongathon charity competition for the B.A.L.L.S non-profit organization, Bodily Ailments Like Leprosy Society is finally over and ended with a bang, quite literally. Upset about his lack of placement in the contest, CrotchetyBitterandMad, posthumous winner of the Most Dramatic Exit by an old man award, went on a mugging spree which eventually led to his demise. However, many of the other contestants were pleased with their standings and are furiously putting together their photo shoots for the upcoming calendar. Contestants were asked to strut across stage showing off the season’s latest stringy fashions, and all did with a certain style and flair. Most notable was Imperial with his self-titled Techno Inquisition which made several ladies in the audience faint, but luckily emergency services were on staff for quick treatment. Pride, well known for his Mithraic Thrust did not disappoint, and those in the first ten rows who purchased the novelty charity helmets found they came in handy not only as drink cozies, but also to reduce injuries. The dear departed CrotchetyBitterandMad gave quite an audible performance, and fans soon cleared the streets to less than toxic levels. Picasso employed artistic license, but due to a wardrobe malfunction, exposed to the crowd that he once again was experiencing a 'blue' period. All participants put on a great show and provided stiff competition for all involved. All placing contestants received a five dollar gift card to Miguel’s Closet – Sexy Lingerie Boutique for the Gent on the Go and a month in the calendar. The top three winners were awarded with a fifty dollar gift certificate to Miguel’s Closet and two spaces in the charity timekeeper. Calendars will be on sale in about a month, but pre-orders are requested to estimate production numbers and costs. The top three winners of the contest were the very talented Imperial, Pride, and Miguel. Imperial will be featured as Mr. October and January, while Pride will pose for February and May, and Miguel goes vogue for March and August. Other winners in order were scoobydoo2, d4rkshoT, Picasso, Mattalliic, and Abby_Normal. The judges were contest organizer Jacqueline, Charybdis, Jill_Sinclair, and Soledad. Judging was difficult, and several requested repeat performances backstage, but after deep reflection, the winners were clear and undisputable. Contest sponsors and organizers would like to thank all involved and to invite the community to look forward to more Mr. Mafia charity events to be announced soon 'DAHL HOUSE…ONE DOLL’S POINT OF VIEW ' Comment By: BarbieDahl I’ve grown tired of people asking me what I’ve done for the community. I must have been absent the day that they handed out the requisite list of accomplishments. But if someone would be so kind as to let me copy off of theirs, I’ll try to catch up with the rest of you over-achievers. I thought part of the attraction of being a citizen was not having anyone to answer to. It’s like being unemployed, and the community forcing you to do volunteer work. Hell, if I’m going to work, I might as well get paid for it, right? Well then, if I am responsible for the community…I expect a pay check out of it. And my time is not cheap. My final thought…Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. GENTLEMEN, Treat that lady of yours to a night on the town. Dining, dancing, games, and the best jukebox music in 3 states. Featuring Bessie's Famous Wings. No reservation required. The first drink is on JESSPRE's BAR........... Addy's Atlanta Bar http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=4167 Miami http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=3623 NY http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=9452 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand and will be paid for. Normal articles will receive $5,000 and outstanding items will receive $10,000. '